Anj

Hey buddies!  How are you all?  I am doing fantastic!  I got the call last night that I finally got the job that I have been hoping to land.  The official title is Community Liaison of the Children Services Department of Pennsylvania Counseling Services.  I will begin on October 5th and I am so excited.

But reflecting on getting this job and Nancy’s newest blog has really got me to thinking.  See, I had to go through 5 different interviews to get this position.  Yep, FIVE!  It was crazy.  There are times that I could have given up but I really wanted this.  I made sure that after each interview I followed up with a thank you letter and then a phone call.  I made sure that my hair was dyed and cut, my nails were polished and my interview suits were ironed.  I made sure that when I went in for each interview I exuded confidence and  had all my “ducks in a row.”  I had a game plan.  That game plan has landed me the job.  And not just any job, but one that I can make a career out of.  So logging on to BS today and seeing Nancy’s blog I clicked on it to see what words of inspiration she had.  (Cuz you know she always does.)  And there it was, I don’t know how I forgot it, but weight loss takes work!  It takes a game plan people!  It takes the confidence and perseverance that most goals in life take.  It takes WANTING IT and then going out there and working for it.  I am ashamed to admit that I did forget that.  I have been doing it all half assed for the past 6 months.  How familiar does this sound:

I don’t need to journal my food intake…I can ballpark it and be fine

It’s okay if I have more diet soda today, I will get my water in tomorrow

It’s raining/snowing/blowing/too cold/too hot (pick one) to workout today

I have to take care of the husband/kids/laundry/housekeeping/shopping (again pick one) before I can make time for myself

Over the past half a year, I have used these excuses many times over.  Where would I have been if I would have stuck to plan all this time?  Where would I have been if I held myself accountable?  Who do I have to blame for not doing so?  ME!  Now my work clothes are a bit snug, my complexion is crappy, I don’t have much energy and I have a week and a half to get myself back in gear.

I don’t know how much I will be able to get on here, the laptop and BS aren’t very friendly.  But I am going to Wal-Mart today and getting myself a cute little journal and start logging my food again.  I may even get a cute new water bottle too. 

BIG HUGS BUDDIES!

For those of you that don’t know me, I have been a buddyslimmer for along time.  Some life changes have sent me off the BS path but now I am back and more determined than ever to stay!  I was just talking to Kerstin in the Wildcat forums and was telling her about an old blog that I wrote.  While I was looking for it, I read over some of my past blogs.  I guess I didn’t realize how much blogging meant to me.  It has really shown how much I have grown as a person.  The ups and downs of my life are there for everyone to read.  The times where I laughed with you and cried for you.  The times where you hopefully laughed with me.  The trials and tribulations of life, not just weight loss.  I am here to face the fact that when I go to adjust my ticker tomorrow (after several months of not doing so) it is going to show a gain.  Am I proud of that?  Nope.  What I am proud of though is that I am going to put the gain on there and know that I’m not going there again.  And if I do…then so be it.  I have said it before and I will say it again…This is a journey!  There are going to be high roads, low roads, and roads that are as flat for as long as the eye can see.  But not one step goes without change.  I am not the same person I was two years ago.  That change came with putting one foot in front of the other.  So post by post, blog by blog, inch by inch, pound by pound I am going to reach my goal.  I am going to “do whatever needs doing, whenever it needs done whether I feel like it or not.”  And I am going to be proud of myself as I am of each one of you for walking this road with me.

Have a wonderful night buddies!  It’s time for this Cat to get some beauty sleep.

xoxoxo

Well, that’s exactly how I feel.  I feel like I have come home to my Buddyslim family.  And after three months away, I need you guys more than ever!  It was so good to see alot of my good, good buddies still being active here!  Of course, I want to hear from each and every one of you so you can fill me in on how you have been. 

As for me…I’m not even sure where to begin or even what all to get into in a blog so it doesn’t become a novel.  I guess I will just give a general synopsis of it all and if you have any questions or want further detail you can just give me a yell.

1.  Tim FINALLY got a job!  He got laid off last November and just started his job last night!  Whew!

2.  I am STILL laid off.  It’s been 6 months and it’s been tough.  I think that’s one reason I withdrew from here.  I just didn’t want to be “bothered” with anything.

3.  My father-in-law finished his chemo.  He pulled through it well, but goes into the hospital today for surgery to remove the rest of the cancer.

4.  I am looking at taking some different paths in life.  I was supposed to go back to school yesterday to be a massage therapist, but my funding didn’t come through in time.  So that isn’t going to happen.  However, I may still go back in January, I just haven’t decided for what. (Haven’t decided what I want to be when I grow up)  I am actively pursuing being a surrogate again.  I have a conference call with a couple on Thursday and I’m really excited about that   On the job front, I have a third interview today for a job that I’m pretty excited about, but the pay sucks…at least for the first 90 days.

5.  I haven’t been on the bike much this year.

6. Okay, okay, enough stalling.  Buddies, I really fell off the wagon.  I know lots of people have said that before, but if I honestly look at things,  it has probably been a year since I have been entirely on  plan.  Last September I had some problems in my marriage…I was able to maintain where I was for 6 months, but wasn’t that interested in losing.  The last 6 months have been hell.  It’s been one pound lost, two pounds gained.  I’m afraid that when I sit down to seriously look at the numbers, the gain in the past year will be in the double digits.  I refuse to get a number until Friday though!   I also think that I knew I wanted to come back here and I knew that I was going to get serious about this again and so I said “what the hell” and totally went off course this past week.  *sigh* Not just off course, but I think I took a trip into the Bermuda triangle just so “the course” couldn’t find me.  Ladies,  we are talking about eating ice cream in the middle of the night and having a beer for a “snack.”  Nancy, this is the tough love I was talking about.  LOL

With all of that being said, here is the funny thing…no matter how far I have went astray, I KNOW I can do this!  I did it before, I can do it again!   I CAN be successful!  I WILL be successful!  I am not going to let anyone (myself being the #1 culprit) stand in my way. I just need a game plan that fits into my schedule.  I don’t know how much I can be on BS but plan to check in with my Wildcats at least every other day.  I will post goals and I will follow up with them.  They may be small goals at first, and checking in regularly will be the start.  I will also work on reconnecting with all of you!  I miss you all so much!

Okay, so much for not writing a novel, I got to go get ready for my interview and will try to be back later!

Big hugs!

Anj

Hey guys,
I am so sorry I haven’t been on for so long.  I feel like I have been neglecting you guys :(  Here is an update on where I am and why I haven’t been able to make it on.

Tim’s father in law started chemo. He is doing well but I have been going over to help him when his wife isn’t home.

My mom is going through a change of life maybe?  I’m not sure what is going on with her, but I have been trying to spend more time with her as well as she just seems kind of emotionally unstable lately.

Paige has her dance recital this weekend and there have been extra practices to get ready so I get to play taxi to her.

I have started waitressing again to help out my friend who is a manager of a diner.

And finally, probably the biggest news is that my husband, Tim, and his brother, Bill, were in a motorcycle accident on Sunday.  Bill and his bike are fine.  Tim is pretty banged up and our bike was $500 worth of damage away from being totalled.  I have been taking care of him as well.  He is doing MUCH better than he was even yesterday.  But there is a sprained ankle, road rash (which are pretty bad brush burns) on his knee, hip and forearm, and 3rd degree burns on his palm…all on his left side that need to be tended with.  Plus since the left side of his body is pretty much out of commission I get to help with dressing and everything and continue to run the household.  Needless to say, I have had my hands full.

With all of that being said, I am proud to say that I still continue to take time for me.  My food and water aren’t as good as they could be, but I am making sure to get in at least 1/2 hour of exercise a day. 

Hopefully things will calm down soon and I will be able to be here more.  I sure miss you all!

Love,
Anj

Hey Buddies!  How the heck are you all doing?  I am hanging in there.  I am beginning to wonder though if not finding a new job is fate or something.  Saw a post in Sunday’s paper that I would be perfect for, but to apply you have to send in your resume.  Not a problem normally.  BUT my computer at home is a crappy laptop and I can’t print from it.  Doesn’t even have Microsoft word on it so I can’t even access my resume from that computer.  No problem, I will go to the library.  Went in yesterday and had to renew my library card.  Okay, that’s done, go over the computers and open my resume, get the paper out to put in the printer and then I find out that they don’t just let anybody do that.  You have to wait till the computer guy comes in.  He wasn’t going to be in for a few hours and I had a lunch date with my step-mom.  By the time lunch was done the computer guy was gone for the day.  UGH!  On to plan C.  Get up early this morning and come down to my moms to use her computer.  Get all logged on only to find that Hotmail is down for maintainence.  That’s where I have my resume stored so I can access it from anywhere.  It has now been down for at least two hours….I am going crazy and thinking that it must be fate that I can’t apply for this job!! 

 Let’s see…what else is new?  Not too much.  I have been getting my exercise in, but I haven’t been logging my calories like I should.  I have been getting in my vitamin, but have been lax on drinking my water.  The good thing about being home means that I am much more active during the day than I am sitting at a desk for 8 hours.

I miss all my buddies.  I miss you all terribly.  We were supposed to get our new laptop today, but now it looks like it might be tomorrow.  *sighs*

 Nancy, Nick, and Kama, I saw the emails flying about yesterday and I think we are on the right path.  I just couldn’t respond and it doesn’t look like today will be a good time to try either.

As for the rest of my tribe and teammates, I think of you every day and pray that you are all doing well.

Gotta go check the forums out now

 Have a great Tuesday!

Hey buddies!  I think it has been about a week since I blogged and I wanted to catch you up on where I’m at in life.  Still no progress on the job front, but I am continuing to keep up hope.  I just talked to my boss today and she said that business is picking up and she may be able to bring me back soon.  Finacially that would be great, but now that I had time to step back and assess my job, I’m not sure that it is one I want to go back to.  So for now it is a race against time.  Either I will find a job or she will call me back.  If I can find a job before she is ready to have me back that would be a good thing because if she calls me back, and I go, then I will get comfortable there again.  I will continue to be her crutch, continue to be taken advantage of, and continue in a dead end job with no real growing potential.  *Sigh*  I should just be lucky that I have a job that I know I will be able to go back to eventually.  My good buddy, Jane, sent me a card the other day that I keep next to the computer that says “Sometimes you just got to forget it all and dance.”  I try to take her advice at least once a day.  If not with dancing then with something that will lift my spirits.

I have’t been able to run as hard or as fast as I would like since I injured my knee on Sunday.  I wouldn’t be so upset about that, but it was a stupid injury and I hate those.  See, I got the bike out for the first time this season on Sunday and while trying to pull out, I kinda lost control a bit and headed for a telephone pole.  LOL.  Had to get the bike stopped somehow and so my knee took the beating for my stupidity.  At least I kept it upright and missed the telephone pole.

My father in law is doing well with his cancer, all things considered.  He goes to meet with the radiologist on Monday and it is looking like he won’t need chemo!  So we are all very happy about that.

I’m sorry I haven’t been around as much as I thought I would.  Turns out that internet access at home wasn’t my only problem.  My computer is a piece of crap as well.  If there are too many pages in the forums it freezes up and won’t let me in.  If there are too many comments on blogs or the blog is too long, it decides to deny me access.  So I have been doing what I can…and that is very limited.  Tim came home with some good news though…he should have a used (but practically new) laptop in my hands by next Tuesday.  Most times it is a pain in the arse living in a town where he grew up, but sometimes it pays off when he “knows people.”  This is one of those times.  LOL

Wildcats Weigh In is tomorrow and I know that the team is ready.  I can feel it in my bones!  I would like to lose something again this week, but will be okay if that doesn’t happen.  I got a “new to me” pair of jeans and a really cute shirt at Salvation Army the other day.  Can’t wait to wear it out on Saturday night. 

Well buddies, I better stop there before my puter gets a bug up its butt and kicks me out once again.  I swear it is worse than a woman when TOM is visiting…

Anj

Hello to all my wonderful buddies!!  Just wanted to give a shout out to you to let you know that I’m back.  Well, kinda.  See, I was going through some major withdrawals so I had Tim go to the mall last night and buy me an air card for our laptop.  So now I have internet access at home, but the laptop is old and it takes forever to load!!!  BUT, I can still get my buddyslim fix and that is all that matters.  That, and finding a job.  I still haven’t found one yet.  Haven’t even had any offers.  Granted, I only started looking on Monday and I’m impatient.  LOL.  But my spirits are good and I will get through. :)  Thanks to all of you that commented on my last blog, sent boosters, prayers, thoughts, and good luck wishes.  They have meant the world to me and helped carry me through this past week.  My father-in-law is doing well with his cancer.  He has to get another CT scan done and then he will decide if he is going to treat it aggressively right away or just have them watch it closely.  His attitude though is amazing and he continues to amaze me. :)  Speaking of my FIL, he came up to the house today and is going to help me plant a garden!!  I have never done anything like it before and I’m super excited.  It’s going to be HUGE!  Cantalopes, cucumbers, peppers, tomatoes, peas, green beans, cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage, spinach…and something else, but I can’t think of what right now.  WOOHOO!!!  Well, I have lots of catching up to day and a few more resumes to send out today so I gotta be going.  But let me tell ya…it sure feels good to be back!

 Love,

Anj

I sit here with a heavy heart and tears streaming down my face.  Trying to write the most difficult blog ever.  I am sorry buddies, but I will be taking a leave from Buddyslim.  I will be losing my job tomorrow and with financial decisions made at home, I can’t afford the internet there.  Please know that I will log on from other computers where and when I can, but I cannot devote the time to Buddyslim like I wish to do.  Nancy will be taking over as a temporary leader as the Wildcat Panther team and will do so until I can come back home to you all.  Okay, well, I can’t see to type any more so I’m going to go now.  I love you all so much and thank you for being a part of what made me who I am today.

garbage bags.  Okay, well maybe not exactly garbage bags but anything that held my fat clothes.  My step-mom has now began her weight loss journey and she has lost enough weight that she fits into the clothes that were my fat clothes and has been bugging me for a new wardrobe for weeks now.  Last night I lugged all the bags up from the basement and went through them.  I had 13 of the contractors sized garbage bags that contained clothes that I have “shrunk” out of.   I was not prepared for the emotional journey that hit me going through those bags.  It was a visit to the past.  A reminder of a different person.  It was strange!  LOL.   I would pull something out and go “Aww, too bad I can’t wear that any longer, I really liked it!”  Then then next thing I was say “WOW, I can’t believe that is where I was.”  It really had me reflecting on how far I have come as a person over the past 15 months.  I no longer hide in my clothes.  Admittedly, I sometimes show off in them.  I no longer fret if something makes me look fat, I have self-confidence now and THAT is what makes me look thin.  I stand up tall, look the world in the eye and tell them to bring it on.  That’s not who I used to be buddies.  (But I did keep one pair of the jeans as a reminder)

Yesterday I blogged about potentially losing my job, and while I’m continuing to feel the stress over it I continue to face the world.  Instead of calling up my boyfriends (Ben and Jerry), I laced up my running shoes and took it out on the treadmill.  My father-in-law also got some devastating news about his health last night and with each stride I took, I thought of him.  And it reminded me that we have one life to live.  This is not a dress rehearsal.  There are no do-overs.  This isn’t a child’s game.  This is your chance to give your all.  Each day is a new opportunity.  And while we may not know what tomorrow has in store for us, we know what we have in store for tomorrow.  So go out and embrace today.  Make your plans to embrace tomorrow.  Treat your friends like family and your family like friends. 

I just went on a total emotional roller coaster ride. Long story short, yesterday I thought I had total job security. This morning I find out that if something doesn’t happen in the next 72 hours I will be standing in the unemployment line. After a few break downs and a few yelling matches I got myself under control and remembered my pact to you all. I needed to look at the positive. This might be a great time for me to make a career change. So I started putting out some feelers and have a potential job offer that pays $5 more an hour than where I currently am AND it would come with benefits, which I don’t have now. So it has just been a crazy day…but it didn’t lead me to chocolate! WOOHOO!  Of course, I got to also give credit where credit is due…thank you to Nancy, Kama, Nicole, Tracey, Deb, and Lori for being there during the meltdowns and the highs.  And thank you to the Panthers for being so supportive and understanding when I can’t be all that I should be as their team leader!  I love you all!!!